Category Archives: Sci-Fi

Day of the Animals

Title: Day of the Animals

Year: 1977

Got It For: $3.33

 

You know, I can’t help thinking that for the rest of my life; I will have to compare every movie I ever see to Day of the Animals. This film has become my measuring stick for motion pictures. Oh, not because it’s such an excellent movie, but because it has perhaps the most amazing minute or so of footage I’ve ever seen: Leslie Nielson fighting a bear.

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Oh yes indeed. You see, this picture is a vision of the future. Of what COULD happen IF the human population continues to deplete the ozone layer with dangerous flourocarbons. What happens if the ozone layer is depleted? Are people burned to death under intense heat? Do the harsh UV rays cause food supplies to wither and die, leaving us in a fight for survival against the elements and our very neighbors? Of course not stupid! It causes all the animals around to go crazy go nuts and start attacking all the humans. Birds sit beside children! Snakes attempt to drive trucks! Rats use cat-a-pults (or should I say rat-a-pults) to attack police!

We experience this horror alongside our intrepid protagonists, a group of hikers on a two week excursion into the woods who are just unlucky enough to get caught in the middle of it all during the Day (should be days, as the movie takes place over at least five) of the Animals!

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The movie itself is hit and miss. The animals are real, well-trained creatures in wide shots, but the close-ups allow us to see the hilariously bad puppets used for the attack scenes. However, if you enjoy cheesiness as much as I do and want to see Leslie Nielson (pre-comedy work) play a bigot who goes Ultimate Warrior on a grizzly bear, this is the movie for you!

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Judge Dredd

Title: Judge Dredd

Year: 1995

Got It For: $4.80

Going into the 1995, uh, “summer blockbuster” Judge Dredd, I pretty much knew what I was getting into. Comic book adaptation, Slyvester Stallone vehicle, and an infamously cheesy movie. Hell, this film’s alternate title may well have been “1001 Kooky Faces of Armand Assante.”

The premise of this classic? A few hundred years in the future society has collapsed…and then risen…and is in the midst of a collapse…again…I think. Anyway, the streets are patrolled by Judges, brave men and women who don red plastic armour and ride large unweildy plastic motorcycles through the middle of soccer riots in the name of justice. Judge Joseph Dredd, played by Stallone, is one of the senior members of the force and looked up to by cadets and fellow Judges alike. After giving a lecture to his adoring pupils on the importance of upholding the law, Dredd is framed for the murder of a journalist by his former best friend, who has plans for taking over the city that include rock’em sock’em robots.

 

Dredd is tried and given a life sentence, at least five years of which apparently must be spent with Rob Schneider. Talk about cruel and unusual punishment. Their transport is shot down by cannibals however, and soon Stallone is teaming up with Schneider’s 1337 haxxor, murdering other Judges and causing massive collateral damage and casualties throughout the city, all in the name of JUSTICE AND LAW!

While the acting in this movie is incredibly cheesy and the DVD has a weird issue with aspect ratio on my TV, it’s worth the $4.80. I got a few good chuckles out of it and the effects are somewhat impressive for the time. The costumes are ridiculous and the characters over-the-top, but sometimes that’s what makes a movie enjoyable. I say pick it up if you find it somewhere on a lonely shelf in the depths of your local video provider.